I'm not a big fan of reality shows, in part because generally when one of them is on in place of a drama or sitcom, fewer actors get work. But when I received an invitation to audition for a reality show about acting, I decided to go for it. Sure, there was the risk of ending up an episode featuring embarrassing clips from the losers' auditions, a la American Idol. Even worse, it might have turned out be like that horrible WB series where contestants thought they were competing to be chosen as the best singer but they were really competing to be named the worst for the amusement of the television audience. But then I reminded myself that I'm pretty much maxed out on humiliation at this point. There's not much more they can do to me. And it could even turn out to be legitimate. In any case, there's the promise of some pay and exposure and the possibility of it leading to bigger things. So I put together a mini stand-up routine and polished up a brand-new dramatic monologue that I thought would really set me apart. (There would also be a solo improv component to the on-camera audition). I got to the audition location in plenty of time, so I thought I'd take the opportunity to run through the monologue one more time, out loud, but I didn't want to disturb the other auditioners, and I was too self-conscious to rant outside on the sidewalk, so I walked down the hall and into the restroom. Well, as long as I was in the restroom, I figured I might as well empty my bladder. So there I was engaged in passionate soliloquoy and bodily discharge when the session runner opened the door, interrupting the verbal stream if not the liquid one. It was a small room and the urinal was situated so that he had a comprehensive view from the doorway. His eyes got wide and he stammered a little, but I guess I really don't embarrass as easily as I used to because I just smiled pleasantly and said I thought I had locked the door but obviously it didn't latch properly. A few minutes later I was standing before the camera as if nothing unusual had happened. I got laughs during my stand-up and improv and a wow after my monologue. When I was done he said I was definitely in the top 5 percent he had seen.
A couple of weeks ago, one of the members of the crew of a short film I acted in asked me to be in his short film. In the previous project, I played a father who was eager for his son to come out of the closet. This time, I play someone who isn't ready to accept it at all. The moment where my character finds his home filled with half-naked young men dancing to techno music made me want to laugh during rehearsal, but I think I pulled off being suitably disturbed on camera.
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