A New Way to Ignore Me

Now everyone who doesn't read my blog, doesn't visit my Web site and doesn't befriend me on MySpace or Facebook has the ability to not watch several videos featuring me on YouTube. Some are old, some are new. Don't check them out http://www.youtube.com/user/keith4hire.

I Hate Nature and Nature Hates Me

It's too damn hot today. Oh, sure, it's my fault, just because I drive an internal-combustion-powered vehicle for insanely long distances, thereby exacerbating the greenhouse effect and speeding the planet's death spiral. OK, there may be some truth to that, but I'm somewhat constrained in my choice of transportation and residence right now. If I could live within reasonable pedaling distance of where I need to go, I would, all right? Anyway, it's too damn hot to wash and dry a load of clothes today, but the shirt I wanted to wear to the show tonight was dirty, so I decided to rinse it in the sink and let it dry in the sun. (Have I mentioned that it's hot?) But I figured if I hung it up, it would stretch and get awkward little points from where it was hung, so I laid it out on a flat surface. About 20 minutes, later, it was completely dry, unwrinkled, and toasty warm. It also had bird poop on it. That's right, some bird with all day in which to poop and basically the whole world as its toilet decided that it had to use that particular 2-square-foot area during that precise 20-minute span of time. Out of virtually infinite pooping possibilities, my shirt was this bird's preferred place to poop. This was no accident. This bird is malevolent. Watch the skies.

Or come watch our show. It's indoors, so your chances of getting pooped on our vanishingly small.

7:30, June, 20 2008 (Tonight!)
Admission: $10.

Roderick's Restaurant
14131 Redhill Ave
Tustin 92780 (714) 665-2709

Seating is still available, but we do recommend calling ahead if possible. Food and drink are available before, during, and after the show.

What Would You Do If I Sang out of Key?

Here's my first public attempt at musical improv with Improvisation Inundation, recorded at The Office on June 6, 2008.



If that didn't scare you off, you have a chance to see us live this Friday:

June 20, 7:30 p.m.

Roderick’s Restaurant

14131 Redhill Ave
Tustin 92780

714-655-2709

Admission: $10. Reservations recommended. Food and drink available before, during, and after the show.

If the Minivan's Rockin', Don't Come a-Knockin'

Will Jill and Matt find happiness In the Driveway? Melanie Cruz and some guy star in a short film by Michael Sasso.

Smoking is Hazardous to Your Health

So it turns out the fluid in a hand-held smoke machine is really, really hot. Who knew spontaneous combustion could be dangerous? But today the marks on my arm don't look any worse than some I've gotten while taking a steak out from under the broiler, and they should be gone in a few days. Other than the scalding and inhaling oily vapor, it was mostly a fun shoot(Other than that, how did you enjoy the play, Mrs. Lincoln?), and I was well fed and met some interesting people, including an 85-year-old woman who wants to take me hang-gliding.

Mind If I Smoke?

I got a call yesterday from someone at a production company I worked for about a year ago, and he asked if I could worked for them again on Friday. I told him I might be able to and asked for more information about the job. He said I would be playing the part of a man who burst into flames. I told him I was going to need more details. He assured me that special effects would be used and I would at no point actually be set on fire, which was a relief, because I would have had to have asked for a lot more money. But maybe I'm making too big a deal out of it. According to David St. Hubbins, dozens of people spontaneously combust each year, it's just not widely reported.

Tonight's Top Story

I co-wrote the first sketch of tonight's (Sunday, June 8) performance of The Big News Report, a news-based sketch show playing at IO West at 9 p.m.!

I.O. West
6366 Hollywood Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90028
(323)962-7560
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