Another Saturday at The Office

Yep, it's time for some improvisational fun and games. The venue is a full-service restaurant, so you can have dinner before the show and buy me drinks afterward, if so inclined.

Improvisation Inundation
Saturday Sept. 27 @ 8 p.m.
The Office (http://theofficeoc.com/)
2106 North Tustin, Santa Ana
714-843-0943 – reservations highly recommended
Admisssion: $10. I have a limited supply of 2-for-1 tickets available on a first-come-first-serve basis.

Cheers,
Keith

Opening the Vaults

Hey, kids, maybe you've wondered what Keith was doing when he was your age. Maybe you've wondered if Keith was ever your age. Maybe you've wondered when Keith started referring to himself in the third person. Well, some old footage is now available on the Internet that won't actually answer any of those questions. I'm not sure where I was going with this.

The Return of the Monologue From Hell

What are these words I hear coming from my throat against my will? What horror has been unleashed? The first time I had to do a prepared comic monologue as part of an audition, it didn't go over so well. I was trying out for a part in a holiday production at a theater that, although small and tucked away in a nondescript office park, manages to get a lot of awards and recognitions from local media. Unfortunately, the only comic monologue I had ready was one dealing with anger and disappointment and sex - mostly sex - and probably wasn't what the director wanted to hear. Frankly, I wasn't that thrilled with it myself. When I finished, the director flatly said, "Thank you," which I mentally translated as, "Please leave and don't come back." But I came back this year, determined to correct the mistakes of the past, to audition for a brand-new holiday production. I took center stage, stood tall, and begin speaking - the same damn monologue. It wasn't what I had planned; I had chosen a nice, lighthearted one for the occasion, but somehow the first accursed line just popped out. I felt powerless to stop or turn back, so went on, in horror, to the bloody end. Somehow I got a callback. Perhaps the curse was broken? But no, it seems I haven't been cast. Isn't that just like a curse, to make you think you've escaped, and then bam, it gets you after all.

Working Late at the Office Again, August 9

Improvisation Inundation is doing another show at The Office. We'll be combining old favorites with brand-new games to create a hearty improv stew. ($10 a bowl. Actual food available at additional charge.) The show starts at 8, but you can start drinking at 6:30 to sharpen your comedy appetite. Reservations recommended.

The Office Sports Bar & Grill
2106 North Tustin Avenue
Santa Ana , CA 92705

714/834-0943

Yesterday I auditioned for a commercial in which I was supposed to be an automotive engineer whose wife thought he was cheating on her because he was spending so much time at the office, but he was really working on how to improve a car that couldn't be improved because it was already perfect, but when he gets home his wife gives him a suspicious look and he's supposed to react, but not too much, because the director wants it to be subtle, but enough so that the viewer instantly knows what's going on, but make it funny, but not too funny, because it's supposed to be real, but not too real, because that would be sad. So I just looked tired (because he was working late), hungry (it was suppertime), and confused (because he didn't know what her problem was), which I thought would be easy because I was tired (it was kind of a stressful day), hungry (I'd skipped lunch) and I really could not understand what the director wanted. I haven't gotten a callback, so maybe I didn't look tired, hungry, and confused enough. Or maybe I looked too tired, hungry, and confused. Or maybe I looked too tired, not hungry enough, and just as confused as I was supposed to. Or maybe my tired and confused were enough, but I wasn't supposed to look hungry. Or...

So today I was a sheep, and then a talk-show host. Surprisingly, I think I was a better sheep than a talk-show host. At least, it was surprising to me. Maybe it isn't to others. But they might decided to go with someone woollier anyway.

An Old-Fashioned Murder

If you're anything like most people, you've wondered what it would be like if Keith put on a straw hat and shot someone at close range with an antique revolver. Now, thanks to YouTube, you can see for yourself.

July 12: Laugh Some Laughs, Drink Some Drinks, Eat Some Eats

Improvisation Inundation returns on July 12 for another night of improvisational comedy, fueled by audience suggestions and participation. If you haven't seen it, it's about time. For our repeat customers, we've thrown many new games into the mix while keeping several of your old favorites. The price of admission is a paltry $10. The show starts at 8 p.m., but the room will open at least an hour before that and food and drink service will be available before, during, and after the performance. Contact The Office for reservations.

July 12
Improvisation Inundation @ The Office
2106 North Tustin Ave., Santa Ana, CA 92705
714-834-0943

I Am a Marital Aid

Here's something I did last year - a set of DVDs called "Treasure Your Marriage." Listen to me receive and dispense advice on wedded bliss. But why don't we ever see my wife? Is their some dark secret behind that big grin?

A New Way to Ignore Me

Now everyone who doesn't read my blog, doesn't visit my Web site and doesn't befriend me on MySpace or Facebook has the ability to not watch several videos featuring me on YouTube. Some are old, some are new. Don't check them out http://www.youtube.com/user/keith4hire.

I Hate Nature and Nature Hates Me

It's too damn hot today. Oh, sure, it's my fault, just because I drive an internal-combustion-powered vehicle for insanely long distances, thereby exacerbating the greenhouse effect and speeding the planet's death spiral. OK, there may be some truth to that, but I'm somewhat constrained in my choice of transportation and residence right now. If I could live within reasonable pedaling distance of where I need to go, I would, all right? Anyway, it's too damn hot to wash and dry a load of clothes today, but the shirt I wanted to wear to the show tonight was dirty, so I decided to rinse it in the sink and let it dry in the sun. (Have I mentioned that it's hot?) But I figured if I hung it up, it would stretch and get awkward little points from where it was hung, so I laid it out on a flat surface. About 20 minutes, later, it was completely dry, unwrinkled, and toasty warm. It also had bird poop on it. That's right, some bird with all day in which to poop and basically the whole world as its toilet decided that it had to use that particular 2-square-foot area during that precise 20-minute span of time. Out of virtually infinite pooping possibilities, my shirt was this bird's preferred place to poop. This was no accident. This bird is malevolent. Watch the skies.

Or come watch our show. It's indoors, so your chances of getting pooped on our vanishingly small.

7:30, June, 20 2008 (Tonight!)
Admission: $10.

Roderick's Restaurant
14131 Redhill Ave
Tustin 92780 (714) 665-2709

Seating is still available, but we do recommend calling ahead if possible. Food and drink are available before, during, and after the show.

What Would You Do If I Sang out of Key?

Here's my first public attempt at musical improv with Improvisation Inundation, recorded at The Office on June 6, 2008.



If that didn't scare you off, you have a chance to see us live this Friday:

June 20, 7:30 p.m.

Roderick’s Restaurant

14131 Redhill Ave
Tustin 92780

714-655-2709

Admission: $10. Reservations recommended. Food and drink available before, during, and after the show.

If the Minivan's Rockin', Don't Come a-Knockin'

Will Jill and Matt find happiness In the Driveway? Melanie Cruz and some guy star in a short film by Michael Sasso.

Smoking is Hazardous to Your Health

So it turns out the fluid in a hand-held smoke machine is really, really hot. Who knew spontaneous combustion could be dangerous? But today the marks on my arm don't look any worse than some I've gotten while taking a steak out from under the broiler, and they should be gone in a few days. Other than the scalding and inhaling oily vapor, it was mostly a fun shoot(Other than that, how did you enjoy the play, Mrs. Lincoln?), and I was well fed and met some interesting people, including an 85-year-old woman who wants to take me hang-gliding.

Mind If I Smoke?

I got a call yesterday from someone at a production company I worked for about a year ago, and he asked if I could worked for them again on Friday. I told him I might be able to and asked for more information about the job. He said I would be playing the part of a man who burst into flames. I told him I was going to need more details. He assured me that special effects would be used and I would at no point actually be set on fire, which was a relief, because I would have had to have asked for a lot more money. But maybe I'm making too big a deal out of it. According to David St. Hubbins, dozens of people spontaneously combust each year, it's just not widely reported.

Tonight's Top Story

I co-wrote the first sketch of tonight's (Sunday, June 8) performance of The Big News Report, a news-based sketch show playing at IO West at 9 p.m.!

I.O. West
6366 Hollywood Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90028
(323)962-7560
map
order tickets

"The Office": Upcoming Episodes

Here are three chances to see me in another improv show. If you haven’t seen me in an improv show yet, here are three more chances not to see me.

Of course if you DO decide to show up, that would be super, just be sure to call ahead and make reservations. We had to turn people away from the two most recent shows. I don’t know what happened to them, but I can only hope they found the will to keep on living somehow. The cost of admission for each show is $10, and full food and beverage service is available. Come early and eat, drink, and be merry.

Saturday June 7, 8 p.m.
The Office Sports Bar & Grill
2106 North Tustin Avenue
Santa Ana 92705
714-834-0943
http://maps.yahoo.com/maps_result?addr=2106%20North%20Tustin%20Avenue&csz=Santa%20Ana%2C%20%2092705

Friday June 20, 7:30 p.m.
Roderick’s Restaurant
14131 Redhill Ave
Tustin 92780
714-655-2709
http://www.rodericks.biz
http://maps.yahoo.com/maps_result?addr=14131%20Redhill%20Ave&csz=Tustin%2C%20%2092780

Saturday July 12, 8 p.m.
The Office Sports Bar & Grill
2106 North Tustin Avenue
Santa Ana 92705
714-834-0943
http://maps.yahoo.com/maps_result?addr=2106%20North%20Tustin%20Avenue&csz=Santa%20Ana%2C%20%2092705

http://myspace.com/improvisationinundation

I'm starring in The Office!

That's right, The Office. No, not the hit NBC series, the restaurant and bar in Santa Ana. I'll be performing as part of Improvisation Inundation.

May, 17 2008 - 8 p.m.

The Office Sports Bar & Grill
2106 North Tustin Avenue
Santa Ana , CA 92705
Cost: $10

[Map]

We suggest arriving by 7 p.m. if you’d like dinner before the show. Drinks and food will also be served during the show. Try not to chew too loudly.

Sox and the City

I attended an AIDA acting class this week. If I had known we were going to be asked to take our shoes off, I would have been careful to wear matching socks. One thing we were supposed to work on in this class was sex appeal, and I'm not sure how sexy you can be wearing a pair of mismatched socks. Anyway, one of the exercises we did was a mock blind date. Now, if you think going on a blind date is awkward, imagine going on a blind date and being evaluated by a room full of near strangers. Then imagine that, halfway into the date, you hear the group leader ask,“Is he boring you?” Usually the voices like that are in my head and not audible to everyone. Yesterday, I appeared on The Sonny Bozeman Show as part of Improvisation Inundation, making our local public access television debut. It was my first time on live TV, but one of the hosts helped put me at ease by saying that the four people who usually watch the show are pretty nice. Anyway, all the games seemed to work and we got some very encouraging comments from the crew. Then I zipped up to Los Angeles to work in a short film starring Laura Dern and directed by Courtney Cox. I was a guest at a rooftop New Year's Eve party. In the attached blurry cell-phone photo you may be able to discern my “date,” the camera mounted on a boom behind us, the U.S. Bank Tower, and my enormous forehead.

On TV in the LBC

I'll be appearing with Improvisation Inundation on a local cable program in Long Beach. Normally, I would include information such as the name of the show, the channel on which it will air, the time... stuff like that. But all I know for sure is that we're supposed to be... somewhere... between 3:30 and 5:30 p.m. on Friday. I think we can safely assume the show won't air before then. And my research seems to indicate that it will be on channel 65. Or 69. Unless it's on 95. So, my advice would be for everyone to move to Long Beach, subscribe to cable, hook up three TVs, and watch until we come on. You should probably begin preparations ASAP.

Salomaybe? Salodefinitely.

Yesterday I had the privilege of attending a special screening of Salomaybe?, an amazing film about Oscar Wilde's Salome, but really about so much more. About 12 years ago, Al Pacino made an acclaimed documentary film called Looking for Richard, in which he attempted to analyze and illuminate Shakespeare's Richard III and make it more accessible and significant to a modern audience. In this film he gives a similar treatment to a lesser-known play by a lesser-known playwright (well, less known than Shakespeare, at any rate). But it's not just a movie about a play. To get to the heart of the work, Pacino turns the spotlight on its creator and unravels the threads of pride, passion, and shame that tie the author and the work together. Along the way we get fascinating looks at the art and the business of theater and cinema. Inevitably, it also becomes a study of Pacino himself as he clashes (good-naturedly, mostly) with his collaborators, including stage director Estelle Parsons and leading lady Jessica Chastain. Early in the film, Chastain expresses concern that she looks like she's being difficult as she argues in defense of her vision of the character and the play, and the maneuvers of these three artists sometimes create interesting parallels and contrasts with the relationships at the center of Salome. But it is all justified by Chastain's performance of the play's climactic monologue, which is one of the most shattering performances I've seen recently on stage or screen. I don't know if the Academy would ever give an acting award for a performance in a documentary, but it's something to consider. I could keep writing about this movie, but since it was a private screening of a work in progress I probably shouldn't go into too much detail. After the screening, Mr. Pacino said he'd see us all in six months for the next cut. It's a complex film, and I suppose it's inevitable that the released version will be simplified somewhat, but hopefully not too much. As it stands it's a rich, multi-layered reverie on a sometimes difficult and perplexing play by a sometimes difficult and perplexing man.

Don't Bathe Your Cell Phone in Dr. Pepper

First, last night I was in the best improv show I've ever been in. Thanks for inviting me into your club, Improvisation Inundation! We performed in "The Great Room" at Roderick's, and the turnout was larger than anybody expected, so the show was delayed while extra chairs and tables were brought in and the servers tried to catch up with everyone's food and drink orders. By the time we started, the early arrivals had had about an hour and a half to get liquored up, which may have increased the overall level of hilarity. But it was also a good show because everyone in the group was energetic, knew what they were doing, and worked as a member of a team instead of trying to be a star. I'd also like to thank my personal fan club for coming out to support me: My mother, my father, and Bart. OK, it's not a huge fan club, and Bart was actually coming to the group's performances before I joined so I'm not sure he counts, but hey, support is support.

Second, I want to warn everyone against trying to wash their phones with Dr. Pepper. Oh, sure, it's a delicious tonic that restores vim, vigor, and vitality, but it's not so good for integrated circuits.

I have a new Motorola Razor now, which means I'd be really cool if this were a year ago. But I've lost most of my contacts. If you want to keep in touch, please send me at least one phone number where you can be reached. You may also include alternate phone numbers and e-mail and postal addresses.

Otherwise, it was nice knowing you and have a nice life!

Cheers,
Keith